So right now I’m sitting in a laundry in Nagasaki washing every stitch of clothing I have except what’s on my back (and later Sinead’s doing a wash, so these clothes will be going in that). I guess this is my life for awhile! It’s hilariously fun.
So, I guess you want to hear about Universal Studios then? Or maybe you don’t, but that’s what’s next up on the Amazing Adventures of Mr Beard and his Travelling Sidekicks, so that’s what you’re getting this morning. Skip the blog if you don’t wanna read about it! I’m sure something else is coming up that you will enjoy.
I fucked up on the directions and actually brought up a stop to far on the subway, but that was easily rectified. The girls went to get out money and buy water in the shop while I searched Universal City (ie, the collection of shops outside Universal) for our hotel, which it turned out was actually hidden behind a much larger hotel. We happily headed in, and although we couldn’t actually check in til 3, they took our bags, which we said we’d be back for at 8 – since that’s when the park closes!
The entire place was tricked out for Halloween, floating pumpkins in the pools, witches on the seats, ghosts on the ceiling, it was actually very cool looking – but it’s only September guys, so chill a little. The hotel was pretty nice, and there was a webstation in the lobby. No free wireless unfortunately but at the very least I was able to e-mail home to people and gloat about having eaten Kobe steak. :)
The rollercoaster was called American Dream and had very hilarious videos of American cartoon people acting stereotypically American while talking in Japanese as we queued. The queue wasn’t too bad since we’d gotten in before the rush, but this wasn’t going to last. There was a really novel feature on the coaster too, one I haven’t come across before anywhere – from a list of five songs you could choose your own soundtrack for the ride . . . how awesome is that?
The song choices weren’t exactly great, but the concept is brilliant. If it catches on, some day you’ll literally be able to pick anything, probably from your own MP3 (or whatever we’ve moved on to by then).
So our choices were –
Rock – Homeward Train, Bon Jovi
Hip-Hop – Lose It, Eminem
Something
Something
J-Pop – some Japanese band
I went for Eminem and it was a brilliant choice. No seriously, even if you really don’t like Eminem, which I haven’t since I was 18, it’s still a very pumped up song, gets the adrenaline going! And the ride itself was pretty cool. No really crazy bits but there was a few parts where you couldn’t lift your arms against gs.
After that we just followed the map around, hitting one place after another, so Space Fantasy was next. Again, everything was in Japanese so we aren’t actually totally sure what was going on, though I think the premise of the ride is that we were Space Heroes, sent to find the magic star crystals that would stop the sun from exploding/dying by the attractive princess. It was one of those indoor rides that uses projections, strobe lights and stuff, but it was also very cool, very spinny and fast so no complaints from me.
Next up, Terminator 2 3-D. It’s not really a ride, but a sort of show thing, using a combination of actors and footage of the original T-2 actors shot specially for the “ride”. It’s all in 3-D. My only regret is that I didn’t have some kind of shotgun/assault rifle to take a picture with beside the Cyberdyne Systems logo, coz that would have been really fucking awesome. I’ve always kinda wanted to blow up Cyberdyne – and Fox since the cancelled Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Anyway, big Terminator fan, me, as if you didn’t know, and the last two films, Terminator 3: Rise of the Shitness and Terminator: "I'm Batman" have just been so awful. On the otherhand, Terminator 2, despite being fifteen years old is still totally fantastic! Sinead wasn’t too pushed, and even Neena was like whatever, but I coaxed them (by saying, “We’re bloody going!”). While waiting, me and Neena decided to see how much Sinead knew about Terminator, or if we’d have to give her a crash course!
The conversation went as follows (or sort of) –
Sinead: Sarah O’Connor, she’s a robot . . .
Shane: I’ll have to stop you right there.
Neena: *laughing her ass off*
So we had to give her a crash course.
About fifteen minutes into the queue it actually dawned on us that the whole thing would be in Japanese, but we figured it wouldn’t be that hard to understand. Mostly it’s just watching people shoot other people/robots. The notable thing is the 3-D, which is better than the 3-D in Avatar/any 3-D film you’ve ever seen. I know it’s in a purpose built theatre that probably cost more than 6 UCIs put together, but I still don’t understand how it could be so hard to get it right in the cinema? Also, there was the 4-D stuff (4-D not being time, but touch), where the chair moves, or jumps, or you get sprayed with water or at the end, when the Skynet mainframe explodes a giant cloud of smoke envelopes you and you can’t see anything but flashes of light for a few minutes!
We took a break here to grab some ice-cream and drinks because it was very warm, and Sinead had told me I wouldn’t be allowed into theme parks with my tattoos so I was wearing a long sleeve top. As it turns out, no one gave a shit I had tattoos as long as there wasn’t communal water (like in a waterpark) involved, but it wasn’t really her fault. I did, however, roll up the sleeves.
Next up, Back To The Future. This ride’s a lot like the Simpsons one in California, though less cool because it’s a lot older. You sit in a mock of the Delorean and fly around, dodging things on a HUGE projection all around you, getting hit, sometimes sprayed with some water. It’s pretty cool.
On to the Spider-Man ride! This was also in 3-D and instead of being based on the increasingly lame films, used the original cartoon from our childhood! It was pretty cool, even though it was in Japanese! The Hobgoblin tried to blow me up with pumpkin bombs! YAY!!! It also featured Doc Oc and some kind of female Venom/Carnage thing that I don’t actually remember.
Then we hit up the Spider-Man shop. I was lucky that the Terminator and Back to The Future shops were both pretty shit, and also lucky that they didn’t have some class of Venom toy, because I really would have bought it, but I did end up with this really cool Spider-Man thing that will eventually end up hanging from my ceiling. Neena said she’d take it home for me so we should be grand.
Jurassic Park was next, and is pretty cool. You take a boat through a mock up of the island, but oh noes! – everything goes wrong, the dinosaurs are loose AGAIN! It’s okay though, you’re safe on the river, even if other people are being killed in the forests, but oh shit, there’s the T-Rex and he’s coming right this way, cue 25metre drop and splash down and everyone getting soaked! AWESOMES!!!
We did the Jaws ride afterwards, but it was actually pretty shite. I guess it just hasn’t aged well. Or maybe I’ve been on it too many times. Nothing much happens in it, except some explosions and you get to feel the heat of it, but nothing else.
To finish off we went back to The American Dream rollercoaster, but while queuing we noticed it had stopped running, and then that there were no people in the cars when it started up. A lady eventually came out to tell everyone what was going on. Some kids shoe had fallen off, despite the back that they give you options shoe-straps, just to make sure that doesn’t happen. For safety reasons they had to find the shoe and test the tracks, but it wasn’t too long before it got done and it was totally dark by then, which made the ride even better, giving us an aerial view of night-time Osaka!
Then dinner, in an American 1950s diner, which David described as having actual size portions, which is one thing I have noticed here. The Japanese tend to eat lots of small portions, rather than one or two proper sized, so sometimes when your food arrives, you can be like what the fuck. It can actually be quite hard to judge whether or not you’re getting good value for your money or not sometimes.
I’d a burger, chips and some onion rings and then we got set up for the parade, which apparently, is just Disney characters, but not quite, we had Aladdin and Arabian Nights, Alice in Wonderland and Cinderella which I personally find hilarious, since obviously Disney can’t copyright them! Hehe!
We went back to the hotel, but first got sucked into a few of the shops in Universal City, including an anime shop, which (again thankfully) didn’t have any Death Note or Hellsing stuff. They’re my favourites and I really would have bought a retarded amount of stuff – and Neena only has some much extra room in her bag.
The room was pretty awesome, even if my bed was secretly a folded down couch. The shower was even more awesome, and the TV played an endless loop of ET, as well as Cartoon Network. Team Titans in Japanese is pretty hilarious! Possibly the best thing was that they’d already brought our bags up, so we didn’t have to carry them ourselves! HURRAH for laziness!
On the way up, I said possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever said.
Neena was remarking on how the other end of the hall looked like a mirror image of the end we were at. As we walked up it, I noticed and said, “Maybe it is just a mirror? Let’s go find the mirror!”
Neena: “There is no mirror, Shane.
Shane: “How do you know?”
Neena: “Because we’re not in it, you idiot!”
She was right, we weren’t.
Sinead was wrecked, more or less me the night before and after her shower was just gone. I wasn’t really that tired so I used the internets downstairs a bit, typed some of those blogs below this one and read a little.
The original plan had been to get up early and see Osaka Castle but checkout was twelve and while I was refreshed from my super-sleeping the night before, the others were totally wrecked, so we decided the new plan was to sleep in, go shopping over in Universal City and they get the bus to the airport for our flight to Nagasaki. Much better plan!
So as I finish this we’re leaving Nagasaki, spent ages yesterday evening actually putting up blogs, but I’m nearly caught up. Just have to tell ye about Nagasaki now, and whatever we do in Fukuoka. Not long left in Japan! Wow, this is going quickly!
Bye for now,
Shane!
PS. This was written on Word at least a week ago. I've no idea how it's taken so long to get around to putting it up. I'm leaving Hong Kong in a few hours, on October 1st. I'll have to play some serious catch-up over the next while! Sorry Faithful Readers!
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