Broke my motherfucking glasses this morning! Aaarrgh!!!! The right leg snapped off. Fuck and double frak! Spent most of the day wearing my sunglasses, probably looking like a total knob, until I got a chance to dig out my contacts. Sigh, this shall be interesting. Or something to that affect.
Since the morning I’ve come up with a temporary solution, wrapping the leg to the frame with a plaster from my cleverly purchased first aid kit. Hasn’t saved anyone’s life yet, but I’m glad of it now!
Anyway, we got up to head to Kyoto, but not very quickly, and we missed the bus. Michiko gave us a lift to the train-station, and it was around here that the damn glasses broke. Somewhere between here and Hong Kong I should find somewhere to get replacement legs though, so no worries. I’ll probably need to replace both sides though, since they’re of a particular style that probably aren’t easy to replace. I’ll find something to do til I get home and then get them fixed properly.
Anyway, to add insult to injury, when we got to our first change of trains, we missed the second damn train. Clearly, why wouldn’t we? It was that kind of morning.
We were only an hour late though, which really isn’t that bad.
Here I’d like to take a moment to introduce the guest characters for this blog entry. These guys are all JETs from around Japan, most of them Irish and are totally awesome.
In no particular order:
Pamela (from Belfast)
Clodagh (born in Kerry, lives in Boston, has an American accent)
Karen (absolutely insane[link to woman in mental institution])
Lisa (used to live in Maynooth, went to Trinners coz she’s a winner)
David (teaching in Osaka, and returns for a second appearance later)
Simon (from London)
Also featuring cameos from – James and Cecile (both from Galway, I think)
So if the first part of the day went badly, part two was a vague improvement, in that it started with food and people. We went to what had better be Japan’s most touristy temple. It had vending machines inside it! Seriously.
And we walked forever to find it. And we were actually looking for Geishas. There was a really nice park there though, which we sat in and got about the business of figuring out if we were in good company or stranded with axe-murderers for the weekend. Thankfully, it seemed to work out.
We did spend an inordinate amount of time walking though, and we were already very tired, and we didn’t quite get the right subway back to the station, so there was more walking, and then I couldn’t find the locker I’d put my bag in for ages, and then the taxi driver had no idea where our hostel was . . .
But eventually, after an Age of Man seemed to have passed, we got there! And Face/Off was on in Japanese in the common area, how random! Me and the girls were sharing a room with David, Karen and Lisa while Clodagh and Simon and Pamela were in a different hostel.
Showers and drinking ensued. For some reason when I suggested that the boys should go first because we’d take less time, no one thought to argue, even though that is literally the stupidest way to do it. Later on, Sinead realised that and shouted at me, but at the time, woohoo for me! Also, while getting ready, Karen uttered the phrase, “Man alive!” which I once thought was exclusively copyrighted by Sandra, but I guess not.
Food followed, followed by walking and the meeting of people, which seemed like it was going to go badly, but then all of a sudden we found them, and just when I thought we were going to find a pub to go drinking in, it turned out we were “knackering drinking” because the most happening place in Kyoto on a Saturday night is actually the bank of the river, just beside this Lawson’s convenience store (shop to you and me). I should probably take this opportunity to tell you that in Japan, nearly everywhere sells some class of drink. There are vending machines that sell coke, water, coffee and beer all side by side. You have to be twenty to buy drink, but you don’t need anything special like a token or passcard to get the drink, it just works. Apparently they have no trouble with underage drinking. On the other hand, you need to sign up to special cards, or have an ID card to buy cigarettes from the cigarette vending machines . . . ???? Can’t get my head round that at all!
So we spent the night drinking by the river. Random people, some of whom some of the others knew, and others that just wandered over to the loud group of Irish, joined and left as the night wore on. This place is busy with young people drinking nearly every night, even Sunday, and we never saw the police or had any trouble, though Travis from Seattle did tell me he was there one night when some guy went off the wall and kick in another guy’s face. But it seems to be the exception. We certainly had a pleasant night. When I got hungry I was even able to go up to the shop and buy some hot chicken.
At one point we did leave the river, planning to go somewhere else. We got about five minutes walk, stopped, stood there chatting for about 45mins and then ended up going back to the river. Clearly. While there however I did see this totally awesome Impala!
Not big on classic cars myself, but I would actually drive that!Sinead and Neena went home at this point, taking our map to the hostel with them. I took some photos of said map, in the hope that might do us, but you’ll see how that went . . . Sinead was a little worse for wears and Neena was tired though, so this wasn’t a problem. I bought another can in Lawson’s and settled down with the Irish, chatted with James and Cecile. At this point, I’ll mention that we had somehow procured a fake apple from outside a restaurant along the road, which James had hidden beneath his top. The entire rest of the time I was there, he kept it hidden, even though we were nowhere near the place at that point.
This totally random Scottish guy also joined us at this point. We met him while sneaking into a restaurant to pee. He was wearing a suit, and genuinely looked like a Mormon. He was actually a research assistant. He was also very odd. I asked him where in Scotland he was from, casually like, not that I cared, but just coz. I asked the other Irish people that too. I’ve been to Scotland . . . could have been where he lived. He got really cagey and wouldn’t tell me and wanted to know why I wanted to know. I let it go at that!
Also, Lisa asked him if he was gay at one point (not out of meanness, he did seem that way inclined and some others in the group were, so clearly not an issue for anyone), to which we got the immortal reply, “I tried really hard to be, but I like vagina too much.”
Needless to say, we’re still laughing at that one!
Eventually it got on and the four of us left from our hostel decided to leg it. It was getting cold, and late and it had been a long day. There were taxis just up from the bank, and we had much more success this time. He knew the way to a hotel around the corner from the hostel and then it was just a case of communicating through grunts and wild gestures that we walked to go past the hotel, around the corner, as far as the bridge – for which Lisa summoned up the Japanese word “Hashi! Hashi!”
Thankfully Neena and Sinead were still awake so we didn’t wake them up as we fell abruptly into bed!
Sunday 19th September
We had ourselves a bit of a lie in, and then eventually got up, figuring it might be a good idea to do something cultural while we were in the city, so we figured why not hit up the Manga [link to manga wiki] Museum. If you’re not really bothered to read that link, manga is basically Japanese comic books, though it exists without the same stereotyping as we have at home. It would not be unusual for a 60yr old Japanese woman to be seen reading some kind of manga, though probably it wouldn’t be the same thing being read by a 14yr old boy.
Sinead, still feeling a bit rough from the night before, said, “Blarrarragararagh!” from her bed, which we took to mean, “I’ll see you guys later.”
There was an added bonus, since the museum is currently home to an exhibition on the history of figurines and toys associated with manga-comics and films. Anyone who’s been in my room may have noticed I really like Japanese manga figurines!
Afterward we fully explored the three floors of the museum we headed out to the green space outside, which was populated with dozens of people, from parents with kids to teenagers. I call it a green space because it turned out not to be real grass, but some kind of plastic crap that was still kinda comfortable to sit on. Grass would have been nicer though.
The museum also acts as a kind of library too, keeping copies of most mangas, including English-language copies. You can take them outside and read them, which we did. There was also a part of the museum where you could by little figures and paint them, but I declined to do so because I probably wouldn’t have left until it was perfect – last thing I need is to end up back on the Warhammer train. Lisa and Karen each got one though. Lisa painted a surrealist Don Quixote as a cultural commentary, though I can’t quite figure out about what in particular she was commenting on. Drugs? I’m gonna go with drugs. Karen painted a penguin black, then tried to paint it read, then black again, then silver, then black . . . and on and on for a good long while.
Eventually, it started to rain, and we had to leave and then we met up with Simon and his boyfriend (possibly too strong a word) Bowe. I’m not actually sure what was supposed to be happening here, but whatever it was I don’t think it happened; at various points we were heading in various different directions supposedly to meet various other people, none of whom we actually ever met. Bowe also made the mistake of taking us down some sort of market street into some sort of market area, so every few minutes someone was dropping off to see this stall or that shop (including me, so don’t think I’m bitching).
We came across this one place, led inside by the booming sound of the Star Wars theme and found some sort of concert thing in full progress. See video below – I missed the Star Wars one, but you’ll get the gist.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpqPPl4ejPU
Somewhere along the way we lost Karen and Lisa, and then walked down some random fish market street for 15mins before Bowe brought us back along the same street, at which point I died inside. Someone had promised food an sitting at least an hour before and we were still walking! On the plus side we did find Karen and Lisa.
After another quarter of an hour or so, me and Neena, Pamela, Lisa, Karen and David literally just gave up and sat down outside the restaurant we were planning to have dinner in. We let the others go wander and pick up our stragglers, which actually turned out to be just Sinead, as the other people weren’t coming in til later now .
Finally Clodagh got back with Sinead and we got in the queue for the restaurant, and also went shopping a little as we waited. Sinead bought one of these fox tail things that Japanese kids seem to like wearing. Hers is attached to her bag.
A day or so later we started calling her Tails, because obvious jokes are the best kind of jokes. I then decided that Neena should be Sonic. She said, “I dunno, I could be Knuckles or something.”
I had to cut her off right there and then, “No, I’m Knuckles.” and made fists to demonstrate my Knuckleness!
Anyway, back to slightly further in the past. We ate in this sushi place, one of those conveyor belt ones, but they did have a cool extra feature. If you really wanted something and there wasn’t any left on the belt, you can order it off your electronic menu and it comes on a tiny Shinkansen!!! After dinner we had to wait for Molly, from America, and then decide what to do about having fun – always a chore. However, while waiting and deciding we ended up standing outside this restaurant for ages and leaning against their sign until they came out and moved it. I also ended up being offered a herd of goats, two tureens of cream and two small white chocolate Toblerones to marry Karen. I have (strangely) yet to receive any of this.
For a small taste of the experience, see this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHxvxIVENU8
Even if you're not gonna watch it, flick to the last 30 seconds for a laugh.
After that, most of us headed back to bed. Early start in the morning. But some of the others headed out to a hookah bar and to get some kebabs.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to crawl into bed (except that the next day, I was even more tired and even more happy to be in bed, but I didn’t know that yet.
Monday 20th September
In an unusual direction for this blog, I’m going to continue into part of a third day here. It’s been so long since I’ve had an internet connection that stories are kinda building up here. Some day soon I’ll probably get to put these up and you’ll all be like “Dude, what the fuck! I have a job that I have to pretend to do. I can’t be reading all this!” That’s actually fine, by the way. By the time I get home we’ll all have forgotten about it.
Karen and Lisa had to leave so early, and while I did kinda wake up, I think my goodbye was less “See ya now” and more “bleh-mumble-sleep”. Sorry girls, was very nice to meet ye.
What I really want to tell ye about though, isn’t the infinite sadness of their leaving, but instead about breakfast! We met up with Clodagh and Pamela at the train station and went looking for somewhere to have breakfast, and seeing somewhere across the street we decided to use the underground entrance into the station to cut under the road to get to it, whereupon (what? That’s a word) we stumbled across somewhere closer to have breakfast and went there instead. It wasn’t either the nicest, nor the worst place I’ve ever eaten, but it did have SUPER GIANT TOAST!!!
That is one slice of bread! At home that’d do sandwiches for the whole family or a few each for the parents if they don’t like their kids! It was very tasty though, totally a new bread option for Johnson, Mooney or O’Brien. They could break off and start their own giant slices business!
Or not, possibly. I dunno. I don’t really know much about the local bread market.
So that was Kyoto, and somehow we all managed to survive it, and even have some fun! Next up, Osaka!
See ye soon!
Knuckles.
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